Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Top of the [upside down] World…


In February 1983 I was 26 years old.  I was a busy young mother with 2 toddlers. In the middle of my busy day on February 4 of that year I was shocked to hear the news reports that one of my favorite singers had died. Karen Carpenter had quietly slipped away and I had not even known anything was wrong with her. I would learn that she suffered from the eating disorder, anorexia nervosa. She was a slender young lady but I never knew it was related to her battle with a terrible disorder. How tragic was her death. It was like a bright candle had been extinguished, a breath of fresh air stifled, an unusually beautiful talent cut down.

Karen and her brother Richard were wildly popular back in those days. Their folksy style seemed to appeal across the boards and their music could evoke feelings of  happiness, or sometimes moodiness. It could stir the deepest emotions that were common to us all. Karen Carpenter had a very distinctive, pleasing voice… one of the more memorable and enduring voices of our generation.. maybe even of the past century.  The Carpenters were my FAVORITE performers when I was in my teens and continuing on into my 20s. I had every album they produced. I played them DAILY.  For years after Karen’s sudden, untimely death, I still played those albums. Even today, when I hear an old Carpenter song, I am immediately taken back to the 70s, back to the time of innocence and youthfulness and hopefulness.

I ran across this video on YouTube – Karen and Richard singing one of my favorite “feel good” songs from their repertoire. The performance is a bit cheesy by today’s standards. But this was back in the time of variety shows that entertained people, that made people smile, that brought laughter to our lives, to our homes. I miss those times. And listening to this song… I miss The Carpenters.

We are only a few weeks away from Gretchen’s wedding which takes place on April 4th. I still don’t have my wedding attire. Sigh. Our tax refund (which we are still waiting on) was far less than I had hoped for this year. It’s disheartening as we were counting on that money to help outfit us for the wedding and also to buy a nice gift for Gretchen and Joe. DOUBLE SIGH.

I have so much on my mind, but it’s probably best left unsaid. My heart is heavy. These are trying days in my personal life, in our nation’s life.. it gets harder to keep hoping for the best, when the worst seems at hand. One thing is for sure;  heaven looks sweeter by the day and like Paul – I long to be gone there.

Hannah had an MRI yesterday. We are awaiting results on that. She has suffered recurrent headaches  for several years now. For the past couple of years, they have been daily and she has become of age where she self-medicated. Long story short – she has taken so much ibuprophen that it has hurt her liver. So she has had to be weaned off of the ibuprophen and now we will wait to see if the MRI reveals anything. I feel like we are entering a time of trial and error  for migraine treatment. This will be complicated by the fact that her liver is already compromised and those medications can be hard on the liver.  It may be tricky – the process of helping her. I’ve been told the cost of the medications is substantial, so I am worried about this as well.


Monday, February 02, 2009


Life is getting…. overwhelming.